Archive for the ‘war’ Category

It has been thirty-five years since the Battle of Endor,

And the destruction of the second Death Star.

In an unusual period of peace under the New Republic,

The galaxy turns to hi-tech sports and entertainment.

Failing to find suitable students for a new order of Jedi knights,

Luke Skywalker agrees to host “So You Think You’re a Jedi”.

The show is holobroadcast from the swamps of Dagobah,

Where contestants attempt to survive and lift rocks with the force.

Thousands of out-of-work stormtroopers form new sports,

Hoth-Tauntaun Ice-Polo, AT-AT Racing and Thermal Detonator Toss.

The gala wedding of Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa,

Is all the rage on the holoscreens of Coruscant.

Unfortunately crime is rampant on the city planet,

Without a war to vent citizen aggression, spice gangsters rule.

Lando Calrissian is voted Commissioner of the J.E.D.I-

The Justice, Equality and Decency Initiative.

But Landos’ J.E.D.I are not taken seriously,

And gangster lord Skinnee the Hutt rules the economy.

Meanwhile a mysterious new mystical enemy appears,

The young hooded Ansol gathers followers in his cult.

Proclaiming powers that balance the dark and light side,

Ansol warns the galaxy that technology has brought all their horrors.

It was the technology of droids and cloning that caused the clone war,

And the Death Stars caused the atrocities of the Empire.

Crashing the royal wedding of Han and Leia,

Ansol captures the Princess and all the refugees of Alderaan.


Gnomes don’t care for rules much. I learned the reality of that from my great-uncle Caz. He had ten servants once, when he was my age. I only remember one gnome, when I was a boy. The gnome was called Nutscenter by the insulting maid, but its true gmonish prounonciation is Noobscience. It worked always in the observatory, helped old unkie Caz with the star charts and radios.

Noobscience wore blue and gold buckles and a white collared little shirt. His size was 0001 of a normal humans, Aunty Bleezem always told me.  Later, while researchering for university Lawn Myths I found atext that said:

Blue-harem Spyglassieres, of the eleventh shawdow. Colored for the art of night-gazing. Temperaments low. Feed on mostly nuts and logan berries.

I was a curious student, just as adventurous while a young man. I interviewed my cousin Sheila twice to start notes on her biography. Anyways, I learned much of the berry-folk. I learned that their kind, Lagamoran, High-Elvis Impersonators and Dwarf Wrestlers all had invented technologies for before the Primates who would become humans. The Primates were jealous of Gnomecanisms, Gnomejets and Gnomeconomics. The Primates, always the aggressors, built up a large armed forces and burn the Gnome Bank-Villages. The High_Elvis impersonators would later sing about it in folklore songs.

The Blue-hamer Spyglassieres looked into the future during the first Gnome on Pre-History Humans. They made an omninous deck of tarot type cards called the GnosTeck. The GnosTeck predicted three cards representing the Gnome World:

1. The Panda, Doy Shuko, (9)

The Panda always meant rain in the future. Flooding or power outages.

2. The Sky, Doy Ciekle, (65)

The Sky meant limitless, unending or a leak in a mechanism.

and 3. The Cog, Dey Kogge (101)

The cog meant one must not forget their tools. Also an explanation is eminent, and that knowledge is a great tool.

So the Blue-harem Spyglassieres invested their war efforts on aerial mechanisms, black and white camouflage and libraries. Gnome libraries never had books, they were rather habitated by extremely old elders. The Senior Gnome Society of Historics was a membership held both thirds by wizards (represented by blue) the scientist (represented by the sky) and the Alchemists (represented by gold). The Alchemists would later be shunned by Blue-harmony and exiled. Alchemist Gnomes would go on to invent thousands of devices used to manage and detect chemistry.

During the take over of Palking House, a great capitalistic giant of Bl;ue-harem Spyglassieres, the famous industrialist moggle Jorge Davidsengen had on staff six thousand Gnome families. Most of these Gnomes would die one generation in the Gilbert/Murphy Oilspill.

That was all I had from that Gnome book. I had another book once from the library called Gnomes In Gardens, but it had very little information. Mostly it was a Gnome coloring book.

I do remember one thing about Noobscience was his weird slightly inhuman laugh ‘heheheheheheheeee-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-heeeee’.

And once I walked into the observatory fixing a radio. I swear I saw smoke coming from his eyes, but know one believes me. That little old man scared me when I was a boy. I heard him say to my father “I can’t stand barcodes, literally disgustin'”

Noobscience had a very strange accent, almost Egyptian when happy. I always thought he sounded asian when angry. He continued “Can’t even look at a barcode without thinking about the old wars, the mannakin burnings and scarcrows.”

Scarcrows were the old nickname for what we later called tankspikes. Long pikes in the ground with straw faces. Meant to attract and kill small crows, bunnys and Gnomes. My great-uncle Caz always warned me not to curse in a garden or the crows would come.

Gnome myths are dubious though. The Spyglassieres could have been nothing more than just clever bankers or scripters. My cousin Sheila went on to be a Military Dancer for the IMO. International Moral Offensive. I know, doesn’t seem to make sense, but people used to try to win culture with kindness.

And now I always remember Blue-harem Spyglassieres when I scan a barcode at work. It must be so strange when Gnomes have this rifle pointed at them and see this Humans First price and bardcode.


War Journalism

Posted: August 7, 2011 in urban, war

When did a simple poem

Become an epitaph

When did rock

Become bomb

“There’s enough threats

In a single day

To become a mantra

It will imbalance the blessings.”

and he watches the unfolding of

a revolution,

a solution,

The people united in the streets.

Dance against the old god.

dance against death…..

Bury History in Bricks and Dust

Posted: June 2, 2011 in war

mONEy symbOLs make for a SIMple WAR tri3le FOUght on each SCorE and CORNer of this scoRCHed earth and it’S wortH every BULLet BLOoddrOP and AGOniZING momENT of EVEry dead bODy CRyiNG for thEir MOthER To

hOlD ThEm

i’M Not FAScinATed With thE PasT nO MORe whiLE it’3 WritTEN by the OLD BOYS CLUb thAt Wins EVEry wAR EvEN IF thEY LO3E they”LL CHOose hoW WE RecALL thE PeriMETERS doWn thE d3cades ECH0 of IDEoloGIEs as They fADE inTO bloODY baCKAlleys aND chILDRen bur1eD in BR1CK pileS thAT Used to be CHURCHES and commuNity ceNters………